I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My dick has a subreddit
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
