its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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