singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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