he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
