meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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