Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
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You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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