Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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