didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
