you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
