that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
