no, he came in my armpit
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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