waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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