When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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