sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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