That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Welp...herpes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
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After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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