I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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