I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
