It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie