playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts