Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
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Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
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id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.