we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."