I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can I color on your dick again?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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