one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
