He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
