Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
