She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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