One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
