she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
