just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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