they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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