70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize