this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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