Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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