..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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