My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
