Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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