She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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