I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize