I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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