direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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