i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
