Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
