I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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