I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
