I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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