Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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