A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Another day, another engagement, another cat
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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