apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
