thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
