All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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