well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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