Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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