she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
