it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
