So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
