Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I will be naked everywhere
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
