The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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