In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
