I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
